miss u

i overestimated many things in my life...most of these myself
i thought i could push all the unpleasant stuff in the back of my mind i even bragged about it...but here i am unable to push this one thing anywhere it's right there in the center.
losing one's mom is huge...mine was not just a mom she was a best friend, a shelter, a sister and a blessing.
i am coping i am not shedding tears at least not in public but the suffering is enormous this one cut deep in my heart... cought me offguard.
no words can describe her nor can they describe how i feel.
i am so sorry i ever made her cry and i did.
i miss her so bad it hurts...can't get her off my mind even when i am happy.
i used to tell her everything and i still find myself thinking " mami wait till u hear this one" then i remember i wont't b able to say it..not able to make her laugh anymore..not sad either
i know she forgives me but am not sure i will ever be able to forgive myself

Mehatet Masr

Now it has been almost 3 months in this godforsaken place…
My impressions are :
The railway got from bad to worse
The cab drivers seem somehow more tolerant than I remember
Cairo is not as charming as I thought it would be
I regained my for 3 years forgotten bad manners
All my friends are gloomy as hell
Am surrounded with a whole pile of shit at work and elsewhere
I think I am stronger than I gave myself credit for
If anything I can’t help myself from thinking over stuff
I don’t have a clue what I wanna do onwards
God is by my side

Happy f***** valentine’s day

14th of February is an extremely important day ofcourse .
It’s valentine’s day, the day Rafik El Hariry-Lebanon’s late vice president- got assassinated and the day I returned home.
I never enjoyed valentine’s this is why I chose to spend it on a plane, moreover as it is this day is a pain so why not add to its beauty
Besides as non superstitious as I am I still could not fly on the 13th.
And here I am leaving behind a world I have created for myself for 3 whole years.
It’s true it was a word of fiction a 3d kinda fiction where you chose the people you hang out with, the places you go to, the food you eat etc…
Everything was absolutely my choice. The job was perfect so was the traffic most of the time. Nothing remotely major to complain about.
I don’t recall ever having to raise my voice at anyone.
But every dream has an end and apparently the nightmare is starting…
My mother’s illness, the streets, a job that am sure will be as lousy if not worse than CIB.
People imposed on me whome I really don’t want to interact with but what to do?!?
Real life has started I can only sit back and dream of some peace of mind that seems impossible right now.

Cocktail

Happy..blue, excited..demotivated, scared...confident, hyper...silent, nostalgic to Egypt...already missing Abu Dhabi...i swear am not exagerating all these feelings are there at the moment.
So back to Egypt it is and farewell Emirates..incredible would have never volunterily taken such a decision and hell it s not easy.
So i guess it's my turn now for the picture taking, the farewell cake and the sobbing
That was quick..the three years have flown by.
I can never deny that i enjoyed this experience alot.No matter how suspicious i was when i first landed.
On the 1st inctance Abu Dhabi could appear as an extremely boring place and to a degree it is but nice boring if such a word exists.
Living in Abu Dhabi is very much like getting into an arranged marriage thing.
You sort of get used to it, the routine, the monotony everything and that makes the goodbye extremely tough.
What makes it even tougher is the pleasant memories i have here, the peace of mind that i doubt you can find anywhere else...least of all in Egypt.
I ll be missing the corniche on sunny days, the smooth traffic, the indian restaurants, the fine dining, Zyara the cosiest hang out in the world, i ll be missing the shopping the malls the availiability of everything within 5 minutes.
I ll be missing the friends i made here, especially the non Egyptian ones coz sooner or later we are bound to meet
As for the others (Indians and lebanese)whenever i look into their faces it's painful ...we might not meet again.
I ll be deffinetely missing UNB and UNB people...
the concerts, my caaaaar
Gosh good byes are never easy
But hey there are also stuff am never gonna miss like the sight of our local brothers feddling with their toes, the blocked internet sites, the rocket high rents,
the landlord's rep, being an Expat, the smelly patan taxi drivers, the intolerable heat and humidity, artificial plants, the excessive use of superlatives " The biggest, tallest, bla bla bla "
In addition to the emotional closures there is ofcourse the materialistic angle, my apt, the car, the job etc.
Too many things on my mind a cocktail of emotions, a chaos of everything
I sure hope it gets over soon.

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED :))

Now again this is about exposure.For the record i do not recall having ever watched a Hindi movie nor having any intention to.
Actually, we in Egypt make fun of people watching these types of movies, they classify as trash.
Hindi movies to us are too long too naive, too much of everything...
But then you cannot blame the mass for the misconception, the movies shown in Egypt are only the commercial ones we never saw any good quality bollywood productions.
Anyway, ofcourse here in the UAE Hindi movies rule you get too see all kinds of them. Its been months that i have read about it in E the movie magazine.
And somehow it kept popping up in my mind.
And there i was at Virgin Megastore( the place that makes sure i never save a fil)at the Hindi movies corner and i saw it "DOSTANA".
Dunno why and how i had the guts to spend AED 90 for sthg i dont know anything about.But i thought what the heck plus the two guys on the cover certainly atributed.
Someone told me recently that i should always trust my gutfeeling and he was right... well at least this time.
The movie was great it's about a love triangle, friendship(dostana), some songs and dances etc.. it's a comedy with lots of feelings.. good ones, the acters are awsome.
the songs are sooo good i am about to buy the soundtrack as well and risk being called trash in Egypt :)
My action plan and advice...one should deffinetely try new stuff, no prejustice, keep an open mind and deffinetely find more about indian culture and movies:)
Guys if you dont believe me just watch this song on youtube it rocks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qm7DMCyGhTE
and to you my friends in Egypt if you like the song then no worries i ll be back soon with the original Dostana cd and who knows maybe more of them....